Anger Management Blog
Previous Posts
- Anger Management for Kids Pt. 2
- Anger Management on Sunday
- Anger Management for Kids Pt. 1
- Can Anger be Used in a Positive Fashion?
- An Evil Example of How Anger is a Protective Mecha...
- Anger Management Group
- The Power of Reverse Psychology in Quelling Anger ...
- Anger on Labor Day Weekend
- The Volcano Anger Type
- How to Criticize in a Way Guaranteed to Make Someo...
Anger Management
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Anger Management for Kids Pt. 3
The most effective way for both adults and children to remain calm is to develop a sense of empathy for the other person. This means being able to see the world through the other person's eyes. While there are some people out there who are just sociopathic and have no sense of concern for others, the vast majority of people we deal with in our everyday lives are just like us; trying to survive and get by. Except maybe they aren't very good at communicating. Or maybe we aren't listening very well. Or both. Teaching your kids empathy makes it a natural thing for them to do when they become adults. There are several ways to do teach empathy to children and we will spend the next few postings looking at these different techniques.
Today we are going to look at how to teach cause and effect. One of the most important ways to teach empathy is to consistently show your child that for every cause there is an effect - meaning, if the neighbor says that your son bullied another kid its your job to provide consequences for this action. Discipline is a great way to teach empathy because children realize that if they do something that was mean, rude or inconsiderate they will have to suffer a consequence for it. Depending on the age of your child and what s/he did this can range from time out to having a privilege taken away to being grounded. Be sure to make the crime fit the punishment and is appropriate for your child's age. For example, if your eight year old tried to bully another child, grounding him or her for a week is a fitting punishment. But if your three year old tried to take the toy of another child and say it was his/hers recognize that a) while undesirable, its not an unusual thing for a three year old to do and b) three year olds don't have the attention span to recognize the effect of being grounded for a week but do understand a three to five minute time out. Consistency is vital on your part, if you punish half the time and let your child get away with no consequences the other half all that s/he will learn is that there is only a 50-50 chance that they will pay a price for doing something mean or selfish to another. What kind of message do you think that will give them to take into adulthood?
Today we are going to look at how to teach cause and effect. One of the most important ways to teach empathy is to consistently show your child that for every cause there is an effect - meaning, if the neighbor says that your son bullied another kid its your job to provide consequences for this action. Discipline is a great way to teach empathy because children realize that if they do something that was mean, rude or inconsiderate they will have to suffer a consequence for it. Depending on the age of your child and what s/he did this can range from time out to having a privilege taken away to being grounded. Be sure to make the crime fit the punishment and is appropriate for your child's age. For example, if your eight year old tried to bully another child, grounding him or her for a week is a fitting punishment. But if your three year old tried to take the toy of another child and say it was his/hers recognize that a) while undesirable, its not an unusual thing for a three year old to do and b) three year olds don't have the attention span to recognize the effect of being grounded for a week but do understand a three to five minute time out. Consistency is vital on your part, if you punish half the time and let your child get away with no consequences the other half all that s/he will learn is that there is only a 50-50 chance that they will pay a price for doing something mean or selfish to another. What kind of message do you think that will give them to take into adulthood?
Anger management advice by Dr. Joe James at 7:01 AM
