WE LIVE in an angry world. You do not have to look far for evidence of that. You might, like me, see it flicker in your teenager’s heavy eyes as you wake him up on the morning of his Afrikaans exam.
Then, switch on the box and anger flashes across the morning news as residents of yet another township protest against their lot and the unlikelihood of change. The camera shifts and wrath resumes as the nation laments something else, like the trashing of its national anthem at a rugby match abroad .
You will almost certainly — unless you are a sheep farmer in the Karoo — see anger and overt aggression in the “up yours” fingers, flying fists and contorted faces of motorists on your way to work. You will read it on the letters page of this newspaper and, inevitably, you will find plenty of it when “you go over to the blogside”.
Perhaps tempers will flare among your colleagues at this week’s cost-cutting meeting or when your boss drops another bombshell by announcing that the company will not fill positions recently vacated or something similar. You might even flinch at the impact of the anger when it leaps out at you from your monitor as one of those increasingly rampant, rashly keyed and recklessly sent e-mails pings into your inbox.
Worse still, you might feel anger ignite inside you and gnaw away at you more frequently and in an increasing number of situations. Are you then among the many South Africans who, it seems, have gone from cool dude to hothead in recent years? Do you ever wonder how this affects your life, health and work?
We live, it seems, in a world angry enough to expedite global warming. This, says Pretoria- based corporate trainer Elmarie Pretorius, is not only increasingly evident in our homes, on the country’s roads and in other public places, but also in the workplace. Anger begets anger, and it breeds wherever you take it.
“I have had more requests than ever for anger management training this year,” she says. “And companies requesting this training look to address employees across the board, from top management all the way down the ladder.”
Pretorius believes that greater levels of anger are the direct result of increased stress and our inability to deal effectively with the pressure. It has been a bad news year with the poor state of the economy dominating headlines and headspace. Even where the recession has not directly dented individuals’ lives and incomes, many have been poised for months in readiness for the moment their bubble bursts.
“We are bombarded by bad news in this wonderful country of ours, whether we actively seek it out or not,” she says. “And this year, with the downturn of the economy, has brought with it a new set of concerns to add to our stress.”
Increased stress leads to lower levels of tolerance, anxiety, impatience, impaired coping skills and irrational thinking, all of which fortify anger. Extreme anger can cause health problems such as soaring blood pressure, aching ulcers, throbbing headaches, digestive disorders, substance abuse and an array of emotional problems.
And, if failing health does not force you to slow down or derail, displays of anger at work inevitably hinder work performance and diminish your opportunities to ascend the corporate ladder.
“The reality is, most of us experience anger at work,” says Pretorius, who was — prior to establishing her own training company, The Mindspa — MD of Primedia Publishing for three years before taking on the role of CEO of Cinemark. “I recall numerous occasions when I felt such fury that I imagined myself leaning over the boardroom table and throttling someone. But you might even say anger is to be expected in people who care about their work. The problem is not the anger but how you choose to behave when you experience the emotion.”
Where individuals do not manage their anger effectively at work, they risk being labelled emotional, irrational and immature. Moreover, anger in the workplace regularly results in conflict, which — in addition to triggering loss of focus — often requires mediation to resolve. Time is wasted, which costs organisations money.
This is why, Pretorius says, companies are increasingly turning to trainers to help them manage anger in the workplace.
They are acknowledging the impact that rising levels of anger have on their employees’ lives, health, behaviour and performance. They are also conceding the effect that it is having on their bottom lines.
Using her 21 years of experience in business to guide her, Pretorius says she avoids weighing delegates down with theory and applies a “practical approach” to anger management training.
“Most people are surprised initially when I tell them that I am not going to teach them how to avoid getting angry,” she explains. “Instead, I help them recognise why they get angry and I show them how to channel their anger positively.”
Pretorius uses role-playing exercises to demonstrate anger management techniques and encourages delegates to rehearse their softer skills. “Why not? We practise all sorts of other things when we want to get better at them.”
She invites her subjects to “tell their war stories”, and then triggers their anger and helps them see how to respond for a positive outcome.
“Anger is, after all, an energy. If you learn how to use it constructively and do not fall prey to destructive outbursts that show you up as being emotionally immature, it can be a very positive emotion both in the workplace and in other situations.”
Pretorius’s opinion is supported by a study conducted over 44 years by the Harvard Medical School. The research found that “getting angry at work may not be a bad thing, and may in fact help you move up the career ladder”.
Led by Prof George Vaillant, the study, published in March, found that those who repressed frustration were three times more likely to say they had reached a glass ceiling at work.
The research team, which monitored 824 people from 1964 to 2008, stressed, however, that it is important to remain in control when standing your ground. Outright fury, they found, was more destructive than anything else.
“People think of anger as a terribly dangerous emotion and are encouraged to practise ‘positive thinking’, but we find that that approach is self- defeating and ultimately a damaging denial of dreadful reality,” said Vaillant.
“Negative emotions such as fear and anger are inborn and are of tremendous importance. They are often crucial for survival. Careful experiments such as ours have documented that negative emotions narrow and focus attention so we can concentrate on the trees instead of the forest.”
Vaillant, who is director of the Study of Adult Development at Harvard Medical School, believes that while we all feel anger, those of us who learn how to express our anger without the explosive and self- destructive consequences of unbridled fury can achieve “something incredibly powerful in terms of overall emotional growth and mental health”.
Pretorius sums it up: “I believe it is all about emotional maturity. It is about channelling anger so that you can be assertive and stand your ground, while retaining a respectful and calm stance that allows you to think clearly. After all, as the old adage goes, ‘He who angers you conquers you.’”
So, anger is all about emotional maturity.
On the other hand, she says, emotional maturity is about knowing when something is not worth getting angry about, in which case you should choose to take the emotional bypass.
We might live in an angry world but there are many instances when one can choose not to add to the fury.
You might even say that anger is to be expected in people who care about their work
From
Business Day